"The Muffin Man", Then & Now (Music & Lyrics)

Do you remember growing up with the old song "The Muffin Man"? My boss at work sent me his keitai email address in case of emergency the other day. I laughed because it is related to the Muffin Man. I figured his children probably played that song repeatedly until it drove him insane inside his own head. It IS rather catchy...

My other boss, and the person I work with didn't believe that such a song exists, and they thought I was just making it up, so I did a little search to show them that it really IS a children's song.

While I was searching for it so that I could play it for them, I happened upon another very catchy tune called "The Muffin Man Squat". This one made me snort!

Here are the lyrics for both, and a link for you to listen to each of them. I hope you enjoy them.

I love you!
Cam

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The Muffin Man
Music By: J. W. Elliott, Adapted By: Terry Kluytmans
Copyright ©1999 KIDiddles.com
http://www.kididdles.com/lyrics/m027.html

Oh, do you know the muffin man,
The muffin man, the muffin man,
Oh, do you know the muffin man,
Who lives in Drury Lane?

Second Verse:

Oh, yes, I know the muffin man,
The muffin man, the muffin man,
Oh, yes, I know the muffin man,
Who lives in Drury Lane.

More Second Verse Responses:

Oh, two of us know the muffin man,
The muffin man, the muffin man,
Oh, two of us know the muffin man,
Who lives in Drury Lane.

A few of us know the muffin man,
The muffin man, the muffin man,
A few of us know the muffin man,
Who lives in Drury Lane.

Now we all know the muffin man,
The muffin man, the muffin man,
Now we all know the muffin man,
Who lives in Drury Lane.

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Muffin Man Squat
http://www.muffinmanthemovie.com/Lyrics.htm

Listen up, America!  This song's about a threat.
It ain't anthrax, it ain't small pox,
and it ain't politically correct.
Ain't talking chubby, aint talking big-boned,
ain't talking corpulent, I'm talking FAT.
You can call your love handles anything you want to baby,
but they're still gonna cause a heart attack.

Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man -
Do you know the muffin man, who lives on Drury lane?
Yes, I know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man -
Yes, I know the muffin man who lives on Drury lane.

Do you know him? Have you seen him?
Look in the mirror, you just might be him!

You say you wanna lose weight, but it just don't work.
The pills taste too good, health clubs are for jerks.
You've tried reduction, lipo-suction, but you still got a gut.
Blah Blah.
You wanna lose weight? Keep your mouth shut.

Chew it up, spit it out. Spit it out, shut your mouth.
You say you're large, you're overweight, but you ain't just fat.
You make a DC-10 look like a tic-tac.
You say your knees hurt. Well, how they supposed to feel?
You're like a Mac Truck - on roller blade wheels.

Got a big belly? Got a big butt?
Get on the floor and do the Muffin Man squat!

Blame the media, the government, your pituitary.
But the real problem is, you can't lay off the dairy.

Indians and Africans are all gettin thinner.
Chinese gonna invade us, and eat us all for dinner.
Cause we fat, and salty - just like a pork loin.
Gonna deep fry and eat us, leave nothin but the oink.

Gotta feed the baby, gotta feed the belly.
Gonna start a war, and watch it on the telly.
Fightin with the Arabs, to the winner go the spoils.
But we don't have to worry, where there's fat there's OIL.

You got a big belly, you got a big butt.
Get off the couch and do the Muffin Man squat!
You think your double chin is really, really hot?
Get out of the fridge and do the Muffin Man squat.

We drive gas guzzling cars for our big fat bodies,
while we preen, get surgeries, and pretend we're TV hotties.
Like a big public secret, we hide under our hat.
You can call someone a nigger, but you can't call them fat.

You used to have muscles, and work out, but have you lately?
Now you're chubby chubby cause You always clean your platey.
Don't care bout Africans starving every day,
as long as you have your truck - and whoppers done your way.

Got a big belly? Got a big butt?
Get on the floor and do the Muffin Man squat!

We all know tobacco gives you lung cancer, halitosis.
But what about French fries building up arthrosclerosis.

In our precious children, in our pets, there goes our future.
I know you hear me singing, do you see what we could lose here?
Achievement, generations, hell - we could kill the species
cause you don't give a damn and can't stop eatin all that good cheese.

Got a big belly? Got a big butt?
Get on the floor and do the Muffin Man squat!

Do you know where mankind's heading, do you know where we're going?
As we fight, and kill each other, eat ourselves into coma's?
I'd rather see a supernova of the galaxy
than hang around as we slide down the evolutionary tree.

(C) 2003 Pickle Tub Productions, Inc.
All rights reserved.
Words and Music by "Dr. Discipline"
Performed by Jessica Eisner and Johnny Bregar