Here is a little tidbit of local news that might tickle your monkey's fancy...
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"Japan world record-holder Masanobu Sato announced that he will not be defending his title at this year's World Masturbate-a-thon in San Francisco.
His current record for consecutive monkey-spanking is 9 hours, 33 minutes."
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Maybe GSK, Pfizer or one of the Big Pharmas could create some biopharmaceutical megahit drug to help men with premature ejaculation syndrome out of the DNA from Sato-san's semen...
One foreseeable problem with that, however, is that we might possibly see a dramatic increase in women visiting the ER for Grade 3 burns to their private parts...
Talk about going the distance!
Have you spanked your monkey today?
I love spanking --- I mean...
I love YOU!
Cam
.... sigh...
ReplyDeleteYou need a woman... or suh'in!!!
Nine and a half frikkin HOURS, Jen! Can you imagine yourself masturbating contimuously for an entire work day (and then some) without orgasming?!? I could envision maybe 30 minutes to an hour if you took it really slowly and practiced a lot of edging and tantric breathing techniques... but not nearly half of the earth's rotation around its axis!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if he got blisters in the end... ? He probably wears massive coke bottle glasses...
LMAO at the coke bottle glasses!!!
ReplyDeleteMaybe he's gone completely blind and relies solely on his tactile sense.
Might explain his touchy-feely nature... hehehe...
Either that or he has practiced so much that he no longer has any sensation at all down south. That would be a tragedy. Perhaps he has decided not to defend his title as he wants to get some feeling back in his willy...
ReplyDeleteOr it could be wore down and he can't find it now....lmao. Maybe the size of a pencil; after 9 hours it would be like whittling....
ReplyDeleteJen, I bet Cam is going to take is place.....lol.