When Quiet Becomes Unbearable

As Tolle talks about in the last few chapters of his book, A New Earth, the ego doesn't like quiet, peace, space, because the owner of the ego has the opportunity to be present and simply "be" which signifies the beginning of the death of ego. Strong egos that control the minds they embody will create thoughts and emotions that push the body to act in ways that disrupt the silence, because to the ego, "quiet" is unbearable.

We got another call today from Matsuda-san who is responsible for the neighbourhood this year. Mayu talked with her, and then came upstairs to relay the current info with me. As she walked into the laundry room, she was sighing...

Apparently Daddy Dickhead next door complained that they can't stand the noise we make.

Huh? Noise? What noise??? I never ever turn on the TV, I don't play music, I don't have parties here... We maybe sit outside at 9pm in the good weather and talk a bit as Mayu has a smoke, but we are always aware of the neighbours, and try to keep our voices down as walls are thin and it seems that everyone goes to bed at like 8:30 or something. We even "turn off" our wind chimes so that the neighbours are not bothered by the beautiful sound of music ringing softly in the night breezes...

Mayu turns the TV on from 7am to 9am during the breakfast hours, but even so, we don't blast it as we both have good hearing, and youthful ears. We may watch a movie once or twice a month on DVD, and the TV hardly is ever turned on at night.

But even if it was... so what? What is the meaning of life? Is it to tiptoe around making no noise at all? Impossible. The boy next to us screams in his sleep at night. The parents out back behind Dickhead are always screaming at their kids. The younger boy is always crying because he can't do what his older brother does, or because he doesn't get exactly the same. Dogs bark, cars drive by, the "music" for the village directly overhead ring out every 7am, 11.30am, 12 noon, 6pm, 9pm. There are village announcements over the PA every day that ring through the valley. We can hear the kids in the jr high school down the hill playing or practicing sports in the school field. People go for walks and talk.

It is life.

It is living.

It's just the neighbour looking for more and more things to demonize us with.

But noise? That is laughable. I can't think of a quieter couple than Mayu and I to tell the truth. Sure, the vacuum makes a noise once a week and the door sometimes opens and closes as we come and go. Oh my goodness we might even have a conversation a couple of times a day or the phone might ring! Heaven forbid!

But noise? Complaining about US making too much noise? Could it be the flushing of the toilet? Or maybe opening and closing the fridge! How about washing dishes, or laughing at a joke? I wonder if the birds chirping merrily, when in our yard, are considered "our noise"? That would be interesting. Or starting, or stopping the automobiles? Perhaps being nice to the postman and talking to him for a few minutes as he delivers the mail is a disturbance. Could it be the sound of us shoveling snow and keeping the street clean, and the elderly neighbour's parking entry free of snow? Pulling weeds makes noise too, I guess.

But noise? Us, making noise? I wonder if the ticking of the clocks are too noisy? Maybe my incessant tapping on these keyboards drive them crazy. How about the sound of an eco-light bulb warming up? The sound of the chairs across the hardwood floors as we sit down to a meal? The meal! Yes, the sound of chewing! That must be it! Or the rustling of the hedges, and ferns in the garden as they grow from the beautiful breeze we always feel here. The slapping of Mayu's slippers on the floors as she walks around could be the culprit as might my bare feet padding up and down the stairs....

It must be life, our life, and the sounds that we make as we move naturally, and comfortably through that life that are causing them duress and hardship.

My guess, aside from their perception beginning to become more and more twisted (last year they complained that our bushes hung into their yard and then they complained that I went into their yard to cut the bushes hanging into their yard...), is that his retirement last year, and the death of their dog has left him going through some transition where his ego and possibly his son's hatred of us, is screaming to be fed, to be nourished with outside stimulus. And because it is so quiet here, he looks to us and creates that stimulus, that conflict that maybe he is missing in his retirement from his job working in the trash industry.

It's really sad when we are living a quiet, friendly, caring, responsibly adult life here and the neighbours start to turn on us. As "The Four Agreements" stated, most of this kind of stuff is a reflection of the speaker's own personality, and not a true rendition of the situation.

Then again, maybe they just need more fiber in their diet...

I love you!

Cam

P.S.

I love you guys, and I always hope you will come to visit. But don't be surprised if by the time you do come and visit we are no longer living in this wonderful home that we rent and take such good care of for the owners who are friends of ours transferred away from Fukui for work and unwilling to sell the home at a loss...