To Die For

Transfer No. 200,000
Date: 19, September, 2167

Siena & Cyan:

Hi, guys. Thanks for the birthday wish. It was really nice to hear from you today. Imagine your old man actually making it to 200. Pretty amazing, considering the thing's I've put this old body through over the centuries. But then medicine is pretty amazing in itself. To a point I guess. The doctors say that they can't give me any more injections, due to the cancer that is running rampant throughout my system. They tell me that it would most likely kill me. Can't complain, I guess. Back when you were born, nobody expected humans to live longer than about 85 on average anyway. But science has come a long way. There were people that said it couldn't be done; not within several generations anyway. I always had my doubts though. Technology does not proceed linearly, rather it shows an exponential growth pattern. Look back in history if you will. Just a scant 60 years after Wilbur and Orville Wright, the inventors of the airplane, took their first airborne flight Neil Armstrong took the first walk on the moon! In only 60 years. Nobody thought it could be possible. Time travel, even in the beginning of the 21st century was still only a fantasy, even though Steven Hawking discussed the ability of light to pass through vortices in space and actually travel back in time. Here we are, a species that lives three times as long as we used to, thanks to medicine and scientific breakthroughs.

I want to congratulate you Siena on your tenth Olympic medal. We saw the race and our minds were there with you. It looked pretty grueling but you did a great job. The RetroXC on the Asteroid Belt. Who ever would have thought. Again, we are extremely proud of you and I really wish I could have been there to see you cross the finish line.

Cyan, you of all people will probably notice the significance of this transfer the most. It doesn't take a portologist to see the portents. It is my 200th birthday today and this is my 200,000th transfer since I first began using electronic messaging back in 1995. I would have transferred much sooner but as I said, I have been pretty sick. The doctors told me that my alpha waves were too active and disrupting the natural healing patterns of the other patients so they had to put me on medication for a while. It totally prevented me from sending anything to anyone. Got me pretty depressed too, I'll tell you. That's all over now, they stopped the treatment. I am pretty weak and things have calmed down a fair bit. As a matter of fact, your mom is helping me send this. I don't have the energy to do it myself. And, in truth, this will probably be my last transfer. I know what you are thinking: "Mayu is HELPING you transfer? Is she ill??" She relented this one time from her usual belief because, I guess, she felt it was important. How can anyone forget her most famous words: "if you don't have the energy to transfer yourself, you shouldn't be transferring in the first place." She knows this will be the last. And the energy that it takes will probably be my last bit of energy at all. From then on it could be hours or days. But I thought it was very important to tell you myself what was going on here and how we are doing. Mayu always wanted to go before me; I guess her wish just won't come true this time.

I wanted to tell you guys something that I feel is very important. I know you will be able to understand, especially you, Siena. About a month ago, when I was feeling pretty good, I decided that I needed to get out for a ride. It isn't easy to find secluded places on this planet any more. Most of the forests have been used for various purposes, the mountains carved down to fill in the oceans so that the people have a place to live. Yeah, this planet is way over-populated and we, in our "wisdom" have destroyed most of the flora and fauna that were here so long before us. I am glad that Jacques Cousteau is no longer around, to tell you the truth. He would be so disgusted with mankind. You guys have a second chance to start fresh, and learn from our mistakes out there in the colonies. Do it right this time. As an aside, I am a bit cynical about your future as well. History repeats itself, we make the same errors over and over again. Who is to say that anything will be different out there? You just have a little more time than we do. Anyway, as I was saying, I needed to get out for a ride. So where did I go? Can you guess? Back to a little corner in western Japan where you, Siena, were born. Do you remember Ski Jam? Can you recall the singletrack that runs down the top of the ridge from 1000m to the valley floor? Well, I went back and did it again for old times sake. Of course everything has changed in Katsuyama and I wasn't even sure if I would be able to find the old road up the mountain. But sure enough, after getting lost a few times, there it was, just as I remember. The gravel was all gone but it was just as steep as ever. I remember grinding up that hill: 11Km of pure torture. Your lungs feel like they are going to burst, your heart is pounding so hard that it gives you a headache and your legs are on fire with lactic acid. Anaerobic rides are the best. It gives you a high like nothing else. The gorgeous buna (beech) forests were all replaced with those ugly, synthetic O2 trees. Better than nothing I guess and they did provide a fair bit of UV protection. I didn't meet another soul on the way up. That was good. I didn't want to meet anyone. And actually the chances of me running into someone there are pretty slim in the first place. Forty years ago, the landlords of Katsuyama, in their wisdom, decided to make the mountains a sanctuary for nature. It took a bit of time to grow back in after all the damage that people did to it, but Mother Nature is very persistent. In time it reverted almost to it's original state. I was a member of the committee that made the decision to close it to all public access. Now it is being opened again on an experimental basis. Only a select number of individuals are given passes that will allow entry into the park. And guess who has a pass?

Your mom wanted to come, she said she needed the fresh air. I think it was more to watch out for me than anything. She has never been a cyclist, even though she has always had a bike. So it took me quite by surprise when she demanded to be taken along. It helped tremendously that she used my matterbike. Hills are her nemesis and she doesn't like sweating or pain - never did. With the matterbike she was able to coast along behind me with little effort. I, however, took out the old 'Ealot, cleaned it up, made sure that the tires were not disintegrated, and decided to ride that. I wanted to feel the burn. I knew it would be my last chance to ride my old bike. The Proflex never even made it this long. The carbon fiber swing arms corroded away decades ago. I went to give it a test run and it just collapsed under me. Had to go to the hospital to repair a broken collar bone. But the good ol' 'Ealot has run true, all these years.

I was feeling a little bit guilty because my 'Ealot had taken a back seat to the matterbike for such a long time. And I wanted to relive my past; feel the burn as only a true mountain bike can give. Granted the matterbike can take you on a lot gnarlier terrain with a lot less talent, but I wanted to test the old reflexes. So I dusted it off and took it out of the museum one last time. That isn't the only thing I wanted to feel. I really wanted to get the wind blow across my skin, feel the heat of the sun on my face. It was a really stupid thing to do, but I figured that I didn't have much time left anyway and so what? It is, after all, my body. And my money to repair it when it falls apart. So I rode without the UVskin. I wouldn't recommend it to you because you both still have a long time left to live, but the feeling was like a burst of energy to the soul! How long have we been depriving ourselves of the sun's healing radiation? It made me feel so alive, so much like pure energy that I honestly thought I could fly! Too bad we were never able to repair the ozone hole that we created so long ago. It just kept getting bigger and bigger until it covered most of the planet. Another amazing thing that mankind created in it's evolution on this failing planet. But, boy did I burn. Had to go to a burn unit several hours after getting back and get the skin regenerated. I'm glad your mom didn't take any pictures. You wouldn't have recognized me. It did a fair bit of internal damage to me as well, but as I said, I was prepared for that to happen. I always thought this ride was to die for. Now I know it is worth it.

I think that maybe the real reason Mayu came along was because she didn't want to have to get the call. After her parents died so suddenly and she had to go and pick up their petrified remains, I don't think she has it in her to take another such shock. And also, I don't think she wanted to have to send this transfer to you by herself. It would probably be just too hard on her. I don't blame her. Farewells are always very difficult. I am just really glad that she did come. Aside from the companionship, it gave me the chance to share with her what I have been able to share with you whenever we rode together. I hope that in your competitiveness you haven't lost that feeling of elation, the high that you get from defeating the forces of gravity. The wind in the hair, the sun on the face, the gravel crunching under the tires; it leads one to transcend the banalities of everyday life. It all came flooding back to me, all the memories and all the feelings when we went out for that ride. And I could see it in your mom's eyes as well. She transferred it to me when we got to the top. There were tears streaming down her face. Although she didn't say a single word, she didn't need to. I knew exactly what she was thinking. I was feeling it too. You know what I am talking about; I know you do.

I was actually wondering if there would be any snow up there. But there wasn't. Not until we went up to where that hiker's cabin used to be. There was some snow lining the road up to there. It struck me as strange to see snow still around in September. When I was young the mountain snow usually was gone by mid April. Not that it was an unusual thing. With the weather patterns having shifted so much due to pollution, the ozone layer, and so many other reasons, snow in September is not rare at all. But just the old memory juxtaposed on the new world made it seem strange. A little "otherworldly" if you will excuse the phrase.

Then we got on the singletrack that I love so much. Every time I do that track I think of my old riding pal, Yoshida-kun. He would have liked riding with us that day. Too bad he isn't around any more. One of those mutated wild boars gored him to death about 30 years ago when he was on a ride. I had to go and identify the body. Not much to identify though after that accident. But he died doing what he loved best and I can't think of a better way to go. I owe him so much for showing me the trails that I never new existed. It enriched my life a thousand fold ....

The singletrack was as dry as an Australian outback summer. A single smoke stick would have destroyed the entire forest and everything we worked so hard on to preserve. It was great. Just as I remember it, except a little more grown in than it used to be due to the lack of use. Mayu rode just ahead of me and the field around her bike moved the bigger obstacles enough for me to get by. That eight kilometers down is so glorious. I can't think of any other place on this earth that I have ridden that can compare to that ride down. One hour of hell to get up to the trail, one hour of heaven to get down to the bottom. We rode and laughed and rode and laughed some more. It was so much fun crunching over the dried leaves, working our way through the winding, steep switchback. I actually rode more of it this time than I have ever been able to do. I guess it is true what they say about learning to ride a bike. As long as you keep at it, you will never forget. My reflexes are still pretty good for an old man. You would have been proud of me. Not like the reflexes of the younger generation but pretty damn good. Except for one place. I hit the area that used to have stairs. It was still pretty terraced and required a fair bit of skill. Not having ridden with clipless pedals for so long I had decided to forego clicking in just this once. Big mistake! As the bike dropped off one ledge and hit another successively, the bike bounced me into the air. My feet came off the pedals and when I came back down again they weren't there. So I landed pretty hard on my seat (you can't imagine how hard those old seats are!), mashing my gonads under my entire weight. It's a damn good thing I don't need to make any more kids in my lifetime. Jesus did that hurt. After Mayu stopped laughing so hard and dusted the dirt off her suit, she came over and helped me to stand up. It probably looked pretty funny. Didn't feel very funny. I always have been the entertainer, glad to give someone a laugh. When I was able to get my tender self back in the saddle again, we rode the rest of the way down. It was so excellent, so utterly excellent. Definitely worth the burn.

So you are probably wondering what it is that I wanted to tell you so badly? I know that you are both very busy in your research and that you probably won't be able to make it back for my funeral. That is OK. I understand totally. We had a long time of love and adventure among the four of us, enough to last several lifetimes. Thanks especially to Mayu always being there for everyone, always ready to give 110% of herself to help out. I don't think I could have made it this far without her. But now you have your own families and generations behind you to think of, not to mention your very very important work. I want you to know that I understand all that and that I don't want you to apologize for not being able to come. I feel you here with me all the time. But what I really want to tell you, or rather, what I really want you to remember is the feelings you had when you were young. The experiences, the emotions, the youthfulness that kept you happy children. Too many times I have seen adults going through their lives as if they were on auto pilot; not being able to truly feel their life and the energy of those around them. It is really sad to see someone who has degenerated to this state. They don't know why they are alive. They have lost their purpose of being. They have lost the little child inside. They are dead. And it wasn't a good way to die. I hope that you, Siena and you, Cyan don't end up like that. You need to fight against the pressures of humanity that are trying to bear you down. You need to walk through life and witness the universe through your "child eyes". I've been fortunate in that I never really lost that love for adventure. I will take it with me to the very end. But I also hope that Mayu and I were able to instill the same gift deep within you. I think we have. I know we have. And this is entirely from my self-centered world, but when you are really down, as happens from time to time, ride. Or hike. Or solar surf. Or travel to a new location in the universe. Do something exciting that will allow you to feel the child within yourself, something that will let you look at life with excitement. Don't let the bad feelings drag you under. Vanquish them with "happy thoughts".

People talk about the fear of life. They say that "everyone is afraid. And those that aren't are living in denial." I don't agree. How can anyone be afraid of life if they see it as a challenge, an adventure, an exciting epic tale where the outcome is only as limited as one's imagination? How can you fear that? How can anyone truly fear an adventure? I think that it is the small person, the insignificant individual who goes through life in a protected bubble, decrying the end of the world. Great people take chances. Great people become great people because of the successes and failures that they experience through taking chances. And I hope that the two of you have the opportunity to take many more chances before your epic novel comes to a close. Opportunity knocks on the front door of the individual who leaves the gate open.

That is about all I wanted to tell you. And that I love you both very much; that you are the light in my eyes, the stars in my evening sky. Wherever I go when I die, if I have the chance to tell you about it, you can be damn sure that I will. This is the biggest unknown adventure a person can ever embark upon. I'm ready for it. I've always been ready for it.

Do well in your futures, however they may turn. Learn through your mistakes and through those of others. And most of all, remember the capacity to love your fellow being as much as you love yourself. Empathize with them but don't pity them. Help whenever you can; even if it means making a sacrifice. I have always believed in the circle of life. It is a circle of infinite energy. Energy never runs out; it may be transformed into some different form, but it is always there. Forever. I don't believe in fate. We make our future with the energy that we decide to use. If we do bad things to others, then our life will be an unhappy one. If we help others and genuinely love them, then that love will return to us one hundred fold and our life will be full of joy. This is a truth that I have come to understand in my 200 years in this world. May you both find your truths.

I love you both and my soul flies with you.

Farewell until we meet again at some unexpected crossroad. For I have no doubt that we will meet again.

End Transfer No. 200,000
Date: 19, September, 2167

 

The prequel is here.